


Prepare as We Will

by drelfina



Series: the Geisha Network [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Geisha, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Fluffy beginning, Just the one scene though, M/M, Multi, Rape/Non-con Elements, So much worldbuilding, actually mostly fluff, awkward ANBU are Awkward, curly haired Umino Iruka, slow burn?, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:49:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: He left Iruka standing, staring after his back, the trailing ribbons of his sash fluttering in the faint wind and.Oh god, Iruka thought, I want to be just like him.***Young Iruka saw one of the more reclusive agents of Konoha while out playing hooky - it changed his life, and after graduation from the Academy, he did not become a shinobi.Welcome to the Geisha Network.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with the urge to just put Iruka in a kimono. 
> 
> And then i ended up worldbuilding this because why would there be geisha in Naruto-verse? How do they work in a universe full of ninja, when Geisha would typically in most ninja-universes be whores and assassins? when you already have kunoichi to accomplish the killer part? 
> 
> But Geisha were never traditionally sex-workers. They sold _entertainment_ , and it is a skill that is just as hard as killing, if only because you have to be there the next day anyway. 
> 
> So how do I get Iruka to be a geisha that co-exists with shinobi? What is it that shinobi lack that geisha do, if geisha don't seduce and kill? 
> 
> Long term embedded intel-agents, is what. 
> 
> There will be a non-con scene near the end of this ludicrously long excuse to put Iruka in a pretty kimono, but I'll mark it so that people can skip it if they want to when I get to posting it. The fic is otherwise fluffy as hell, and generally lacking in a HELL LOT OF THINGS including violence other than the usual injuries that shinobi suffer. 
> 
> God this fic is longer than some of my thesis chapters. And this is just Part 1

He'd wanted to have someone see him. 

Without his parents, without - anyone who cared, Iruka had no one who _saw_ him, his teachers barely knew he existed, just one of many traumatised kids, and the orphanages were bursting with just another parentless child. 

He was just one of many, there was nothing special about him. 

So he pulled pranks, and got his teacher to yell at him but it never lasted long. 

He was cutting class one day, trying to find a suitable target to throw his large paint balloon at. That chuunin with the wierd bowl cut, maybe, if he could find him. Or the one with the long hair and white eyes? 

He readied his balloon and then - 

Everyone on the busy market street had stopped. Turned to look at - 

Who? 

Iruka turned too and saw a literal vision in white and red, like an ANBU's mask, but more - arresting. Beautiful. 

"Who," Iruka started. 

"Geisha Satsuki," said an adult, awed. "Oh wow. He's actually coming this way?" 

The long trailing sleeves looked like they were red peony petals on fresh snow, the silk-painting was so beautiful, so perfect, as Satsuki passed by, holding an umbrella that shaded his face and. 

He didn't say anything to anyone, just this careful, graceful walk, the flowers and jewellery in his hair swaying with each step and - 

Iruka dropped his balloon. 

It popped and dropped paint on his feet, and the geisha stopped. 

Turned to look at him. 

"Be careful," Satsuki said, voice calm, almost sweet, and smiled at Iruka and. 

It was blinding. 

"What's your name?" 

"U- Umino Iruka," Iruka stammered staring in awe. 

"Shouldn't you be in school, Iruka-kun?" Satsuki said, holding out his hand to Iruka. 

"Satsuki-sama!" a voice in the end of the street, and Satsuki turned away his gorgeous attention to the voice. 

"Ah. I am late. Here, Iruka-kun," Satsuki said, somehow managing to pass Iruka a coin, delicate, soft fingers barely brushing Iruka's own grubby ones. "Go get yourself some dango, ne? And go to school." 

He left Iruka standing, staring after his back, the trailing ribbons of his sash fluttering in the faint wind and. 

Oh god, Iruka thought, I want to be just like him.


	2. Blood in the Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How on earth _did_ they train chuunin, that they were so disrespectful?

"Why not," said the chuunin behind Iruka's back, as if Iruka couldn't hear him. 

"Don't you get it, he's a _geisha_ ," hissed one of the slightly more experienced chuunin of the team. 

"Yeah he is, I have eyes, I can see, Doesn't mean I can't ask him!" 

"Look you try that it's none of my business what happens after." 

"Hah, as if I'd want to share after you're too cowardly to ask." 

"It's on your own head," the other chuunin muttered. 

Iruka let himself have a small smile, which disappeared as soon as a stranger's hand landed on his wrist. 

Even though he had been through the Academy, and knew how to read chakra signatures, it still irritated him when shinobi got so damn close, so quietly, and dared to touch him without permission. 

_"Don't let them take liberties, Iruka-kun," Satsuki-sama had said. "They know you are off-limits."_

"Hey, geisha, you wanna -" 

Iruka twisted around and slapped the man's hand off him with his fan, and followed up with a sharp strike to his throat. 

"Don't," Iruka said, straightening his sleeves, "touch me." 

"The fuck," the chuunin said - "just now you were being a goddamn cocktease-" 

"We were surrounded by my client's men," Iruka said, sharply. "One of your team had signalled for help, so of course I had to extract you as fast as I could. That was your first strike. Try again, shinobi-san, and you will be thrown out of my safehouse." 

"Holy fuck, no, i apologise on this idiot's behalf, Geisha-dono," the other chuunin said, hurrying forward because he'd caught exactly what Iruka meant. 

"What, why are you -" 

"Shut up, don't you get it? Offend him and we ALL get thrown out." 

"Keep him in line, Iwashi-san," Iruka said, coolly, "And I will say nothing to my fellow-geisha." 

"Of course, geisha-san!" 

Iruka just turned back towards his house. 

You'd think that they would have taught this in whatever exam it took to become chuunin. This far out, Iruka tended to rarely receive genin teams, but the jounin sensei were always so scrupulously polite. 

It was the other teams, the mixed or chuunin-only teams that always were just that bit …. Stupid. 

How on earth did they train chuunin? Iruka had learned from his older trainees as much as possible as soon as he had been accepted into the Geisha Training House after graduation from the Academy, and he'd been one of the oldest ones of newcomers there. It hadn't taken long for Iruka to realise that he had to learn fast, especially since a full quarter of his peers had been _born_ to Geisha themselves, and had been learning the arts since they could toddle. 

It had turned out that Iruka was, when he put his mind to it, very good at picking up the various arts, and finding teachers amongst his younger but more advanced peers to help him if he needed it. It wasn't jutsu, it wasn't chakra, and if any of them were from fancy clans, it all hadn't mattered. None of them had family names here, and all of them were siblings, and what one knew, quickly all of them did. 

It made Iruka wonder how it was that every time he encountered a new chuunin team, he'd have to educate them all over again on what was the proper protocol for utilizing the Geisha network. 

_I've encountered three this month_ , Natsumi'd written to him earlier today. _Do you think that we can ask the Oneesama and Oniisama to just forbid all-chuunin teams from visiting? One of them tried to take a hairpin._

Iruka had snorted when he'd read that. 

So far he hadn't been quite so 'lucky' in encountering that; most of the new chuunin had been forward with words and touches, but none had tried to steal his things from his person. 

He flicked his robe out behind him so he could kneel at his desk, putting down the small basket of picked berries on the corner and picked up his pen. 

_We'd be so lucky,_ he wrote. _If the Hokage would listen to them, we'd have jounin-led teams only._

But it wasn't likely. Jounin weren't that numerous, the exams were extremely rigorous. Iruka himself could barely imagine what it took to become jounin, let alone the even more lethal and rarer ANBU. Much like becoming one of the Oneesama or Oniisama ranking geisha, it probably took intense training, the right character and luck. 

The fact that Iruka was already in charge of his own safehouse at the young age of twenty was incredible enough. He was still stationed fairly close to the Village - rather than closer to one of the larger cities that the more highly ranked - and highly visible - of his fellow-geisha were posted to. 

He was unsure as to whether he wanted to try for one of such spots - it was very visible, a potential for many clients… and hugely risky. 

Satsuki-niisama had been stationed in the Capital himself for the past two years, and his letters to Iruka had been the usual light-hearted news, but under those pretty turns of phrases were the coded news that Iruka had had to analyse and pass on to the other geisha or onto the passing shinobi teams, and every bit of news probably had held incredible risk to Satsuki-niisama to obtain. 

No, Iruka was pleased to be where he was; sure he had to deal with chuunin who were all various levels of green and rude, but his clients were low ranking land-owners and vassal-family heads who knew how much they could push Iruka, and were more concerned with their own petty bickering than with assassinations.

He had a lot more time to deal with the letters coming in from the Capital and other safe-houses from this side of Fire Country.

Today there had been no coded news and intel he was supposed to deal with, so he only had to write the small report on the arrival of Iwashi's chuunin team, and take stock of his supplies before sending it off. 

He had finished the report quickly - based on his last stock-take, he could safely stock up Iwashi's team and still be able to cope with an emergency team if he had to before his restock supply run. 

Was it too early for him to go to Konoha for it personally, he wondered. 

He rolled up the report and sealed it into a tiny scroll before summoning a sparrow. 

"To the Quartermaster of Konoha," he told the little bright-eyed bird, and fed it a berry for its trouble, and let it out the window. 

Maybe he could set off with Iwashi's team. If Iwashi could keep his teammates in line, it might not even be terribly unpleasant. 

*** 

Iwashi's team really only needed an overnight stay, just a safe place to patch up their injuries and sleep without worrying about wards. 

The Geisha Safehouses all had excellent wards - Iruka wasn't an expert on them, that was Natsumi, but he knew enough to be able to set them and give the alerts to Iwashi and his team, since Iruka would be the last line of any defense if they were breached. 

So that night, he was not expecting a bloody shinobi to climb into his window and none of the chuunin roused at all in alarm. 

Iruka froze, his hand going to the nearest weapon he had - which happened to be a slim knife. 

"Yo," said the bloody shinobi. In the dim light of Iruka's desk lamp, he looked almost like a black and silver shadow, and it took a moment before Iruka realised that half the silver was actually white armour, and he was smearing foot prints on Iruka's tatami. 

"ANBU-san, you're injured," Iruka said after a moment of watching him. 

"Yes," the silvery apparition agreed. "Do you have some bandages?" 

"Sit down," Iruka told him, and the ANBU agreeably folded his legs in and flopped down. 

Iruka stared at him for a moment, before making himself go for his stash of clean cloths and bandages, automatically noting how many he was removing, even as he was thinking, _ANBU, i have an ANBU in my safehouse!_

It was the first he'd encountered - most of the shinobi who passed through his area were chuunin, with a scattering of genin teams, an actual ANBU was - was. It was report-worthy, definitely, and he was also going to have to tell Natsumi. 

"What are you doing here?" Iruka said, kneeling down next to him, with a frown. 

"Your windows aren't warded," the ANBU said, when Iruka reached out to his arm. "You should ward them -" he jerked his arm out of Iruka's reach, hitting the wall with his glove. Iruka flinched at the sharp clang of metal hitting wall. 

The shinobi blinked at him, just one visible eye above his mask, the other hidden in his hair. "Ah. Sorry. Give those to me, I'll handle it." 

"I apologise," Iruka said, going very still. The ANBU smelled sharply of blood, fresh, and this close he was breathing very carefully. "I can go wake up Iwashi-san," he said. "His team has a field medic." 

"I didn't wake them for a reason," the ANBU said, still perfectly polite. "Pass me the bandages. Please." 

Iruka handed them to him, carefully. "Why?" 

The ANBU undid the catches of his armour one handed, and pressed some bloody fingers to the bandages, starting to leave streaks of blood. It was a crude seal, Iruka realised, as the chakra started to make the smears glow. 

"I trust your discretion more," the ANBU said, glancing up at Iruka. "And your gentle touch. Could you hold those please." 

If it was anyone else - even another jounin, Iruka would almost suspect them of trying to flirt with him, but the ANBU was careful not to let their hands touch more than necessary - ah, his gloves were clawed - and indicated that Iruka press the crude bandage-seals to his injured side, even if it was over his mesh armour. 

"I've never met you before," Iruka said, "How would you know I have a gentle touch?" 

The ANBU blinked at him. "Aren't all geisha gentle?" he said. "Pass me another roll if you can, geisha-san." 

The seal stuck onto the ANBU's side; he hoped it wasn't just glued there with blood. Iruka passed him another roll and the ANBU did the same with the blood-as-seal, but this time with a slightly different symbol. Iruka was curious enough to remember them, and he'd have to ask Natsumi about it next time he met her face-to-face. If it was an ANBU's seals, it might actually be classified. 

The ANBU exhaled, slowly, audibly, and then pressed the second bandage-seal to his - covered eye. Iruka got a glimpse of red-dark and then the ANBU was winding it around his head, the white of the bandages almost merging with the silver of his hair. 

"Thank you," the ANBU said once he was done, and made to stand. Iruka reached out to help, and the ANBU snapped his hand in front of himself - fingers held in a claw. 

"Sorry, geisha-san," he said after two heartbeats. "Please don't touch me. It's cursed blood you see." 

Iruka blinked. "Then what does that mean for my tatami?"

The ANBU blinked. "Burn it, of course."

"And the wall?" Iruka said. "Can't i just wash it down?" 

The ANBU turned to look at where he'd smeared blood down Iruka's wall like it was a surprise. "Huh. I suppose you could wash it," he agreed. 

"Since water would dilute the curse," Iruka said, very dry. 

"Oh. Yes. That is true," the ANBU said after a moment's thought. "Would be easier to just burn it all down." 

"You're a katon user aren't you," Iruka said. 

"You can say that," the ANBU agreed. 

"Figured." 

** 

_Dear Natsumi, I had an ANBU come by last night, and he's a pyromaniac._

It wasn't a letter he would dare commit to paper - anything about any ANBU agents had to be kept secret and never written down. Any detail about them could be classified and dangerous.

The ANBU had gone and sat in his garden to meditate - or perhaps sleep - for a few hours while Iruka scrubbed down the cursed blood (was it even really cursed? Or was it just shorthand for 'get rid of it with fire'?) Certainly if he used a small suiton and plenty of soap, the curse washed away well enough, even from the tatami, though he was going to have to have these mats hung out in the sun. 

When he'd gone out to try and ask if the ANBU wanted some food, though, the ANBU had disappeared, not even leaving any blood. 

Huh. 

*** 

He had to amend his stock take but it wasn't that major an amendment. He could just close up his safe house and leave with Iwashi's team. While on the road, his uchikatsugi kept the mosquitos off his face, and the long veil was a huge reminder to the chuunin to keep their hands and words to themselves. 

And then he was in Konoha, splitting off from the chuunin team to head towards the Hokage's tower. 

He knew he was turning heads as he passed - it still made him smile a little. He was nothing as recognisable as Satsuki-sama had been - and still is - but it felt like he was just another step closer. 

"Iruka? Iruka, that you?" 

Iruka paused, and then parted the blue gauze veil, hooking it up above the wide brim of his hat. "Mizuki?" 

"Hey, Hey Iruka!" And there, there was his friend running up to him. "Look at you! When was the last time you'd come to the Village?" 

"three months, it wasn't that long ago," Iruka said, with a smile for one of his oldest friends. They'd become friends in the academy, and while Iruka had had his heart set on becoming a geisha like Satsuki-sama, Mizuki had wanted to become jounin. 

He had made Chuunin not too long ago - Iruka was sure his friend would be on his way to jounin soon. 

 

"The last time i saw you was six months ago, you ass," Mizuki said, laughing and catching Iruka's arm without regard for his kimono sleeves. 

It was alright, Iruka didn't mind. 

"I'm here now," Iruka said, smiling. "I have missed seeing you - I did write, you know." 

"Half of the time i'm out of the village and get them late," Mizuki scoffed. "It's better when you're here. C'mon, we should go get dinner." 

"Right now? I have to get my report in and see the Quartermaster," Iruka said. "But I can meet you at - where is it, Ichiraku?" 

"Would your highness be able to cope with that?" Mizuki said, with a grin. "Nah why not this new restaurant that opened up a month ago? The silver shuriken just a block down from Jun's." 

"If you want," Iruka said, and he didn't mind if it was a restaurant rather than one of the places he missed the most about not living in Konoha. Still, it was there all the time, and he would be in Konoha at least two nights, he might as well spend time where Mizuki wanted. 

"I do want," Mizuki said, leaning in and kissed Iruka's cheek. 

Iruka laughed and pushed him away. "Stop teasing, Mizuki, come on, let me go, I'll meet you there later alright?" 

Mizuk resisted the push for a moment before stepping back. "Alright, sure. At seven alright?" 

"Yes, go on I'm sure chuunin-san has many important things to do," Iruka teased. 

"I do indeed. Seven, don't be late!" 

Iruka just smiled, and put his veil back down. Mizuki was always so tactile. He had missed that, the company of his friends. 

*** 

The Silver Shuriken was very crowded, which Iruka didn't like particularly, but at least when Mizuki went to speak to the proprietor, they were given a small private room, which at least meant he could relax without eyes on him, even if the screen doors didn't screen noise. 

It was pretty good food, Iruka did admit, with good sake. Iruka could drink like the best of them, but that was for work with his clients, and preferred not to drink more than one cup. Mizuki on the other hand, was perfectly willing to drink most of the sake, even if he kept trying to refilling Iruka's cup. 

Iruka distracted him by refilling Mizuki's instead and getting him to talk about his missions. 

Mizuki had so many stories - unlike Iruka's, which were, by comparison, quite boring, and lacking in danger. The most exciting thing that had happened was Iruka meeting an ANBU and he most definitely couldn't tell Mizuki about it; his work was otherwise completely not dinner conversation - who wanted to hear about intel analysis over really tasty tuna belly right? He'd tried telling Mizuki about the kind of work he did, the last time he'd been in Konoha with him, and Mizuki had been very polite but obviously was bored. 

It was a good dinner though, and Mizuki's sharp sense of humour still had Iruka laughing, though he got a little sharper the drunker he got, and eventually Iruka decided to call it a night while Mizuki could still walk home on his own feet without insulting too many jounin. 

Iruka had walked Mizuki back to his apartment complex, and was heading towards the guest quarters near the Hokage tower when he saw him. 

A flash of yellow in the alleyway, scrabbling amongst the rubbish. 

Iruka stopped and turned and - 

"Hello?" 

The - yellow tuft of hair stopped, and in the night lamps glare, Iruka could make out big pale eyes and. 

A child. In the rubbish. 

"Hi there," Iruka said , remembering a tall, beautiful man stopping to talk to Iruka. 

The kid shifted, edged forward to him. Cringed when Iruka lifted his hand, which made Iruka feel even more terrible for him. 

"Are you hungry?" Iruka asked softly, eying his worn, almost ragged clothes. 

"Yeah," the kid said after a moment.

"I'm hungry too," Iruka said, still holding his hand out. "Shall we go get ramen?" 

"What's ramen?" the kid inched forward, and put a grubby hand into Iruka's, and Iruka felt his heart melt. 

"It's my favourite food in the world," Iruka said, lifting his veil with his other hand and smiling at the child. "Come, I'll show you." 

*** 

Iruka always had space for ramen, and he's wearing a travel version of his kimono, tougher coat over the silk so he could put aside his uchikatsugi and perch on the little stools and watch the kid poke at the simple shio ramen, then swallow it down with gusto, like he was afraid someone would take it away. 

He ate his own much smaller bowl of ramen more slowly. 

"Was it good?" he asked the kid. The kid nodded, eyes wide . 

"So good! It's like the best thing ever!" 

Iruka laughed and waved over the old man to give him a plate of gyoza. "Try these then," he said. 

Those went fast too, and when the kid eyed Iruka's bowl, Iruka ordered him another. 

For such a tiny thing, he managed four bowls of ramen before he slowed.

"Why're you buying it for me though," the kid said when he finally put his spoon down. Blue eyes narrowed with suspicion. 

"So you can tell me your name," Iruka said easily, thinking of the coin that Satsuki-sama had given him, so long ago. 

"Uzumaki Naruto! I'm gonna be hokage one day! So if you want anything I can return it then!" 

Iruka hid a laugh behind his hand. "Uzumaki Naruto? I'd heard of an Uzumaki, she was supposed to be very good with seals." 

"You have? Is she my - family?" Naruto said, eyes wide. 

Iruka'd only heard of her from Natsumi - Natsumi had always been interested in seal work, and had been intent on finding the few papers that Uzumaki Kushina had brought with her from when the Uzumaki had fled Whirlpool.

"Probably," Iruka said, realising that the kid might well have been one of those lost in the fleeing immigrants wave he'd studied for his own training. "Sadly, she's gone. But …. Do you have a home to go to, Naruto-kun?" 

"Yeah," Naruto said. 

He had a place to go to, but had been scavenging in the rubbish. 

Iruka didn't frown at the thought of this kid, obviously an orphan, not having anywhere to go to, and living on the streets. 

"I'll walk you home then, Naruto-kun," Iruka said. "Tell me, are you at the academy?" 

****

"He has to stay in Konoha," Sandaime Hiruzen said firmly. 

"Why?" Iruka said, frowning. "He's living alone at an apartment, not the orphanage. Are the orphanages entirely full? If that is the case then -" 

"Are you really proposing to take him to the Geisha Creche, Iruka-kun?" Hiruzen said, raising an eyebrow at him. "It's safer for all concerned that he stays where is." 

"There was expired food in his refrigerator," Iruka pointed out. "He's going to die of food poisoning." 

"I have ANBU watching over him," Hiruzen said. 

ANBU? 

Why would he even have ANBU watching over an orphan when there were orphanages that could help care for him when he was not at the academy. 

Hiruzen exhaled. "He's the jinchuuriki," Sandaime said finally.

"What?!" Iruka recoiled, hands going to his face in shock.

"Many know it and cannot - stand to have him near. He's in that apartment for his own safety. And, forgive me, Iruka-kun, the Geisha Creche would not be able to defend against the kyuubi should anything happen." 

"The - he is the kyuubi container?" 

He'd - the monster that had killed his parents and most of the village? Half an entire generation gone, from that huge unstoppable natural disaster? 

"Yes," Hiruzen said, watching Iruka . "You see why he must be in Konoha." 

He'd been near the kyuubi. The monster that had destroyed so many lives… rendered Iruka an orphan - 

But he had just been a boy. Scavenging in the trash. 

Iruka swallowed. 

"I see," he said stiffly. 

"I'm glad you do. Thank you for your good work, Iruka-kun," Hiruzen said. "Now, I assume you must be going?" 

***

What could Iruka do? The hokage was right, he couldn't put the geisha creche at risk, few of them were past genin-trained, certainly not enough to make any difference other than dead bodies if the fox were to escape. 

But Iruka'd seen Naruto's apartment. Iruka had seen him in the trash… 

He was just a child. It hadn't been his fault he was housing the kyuubi, he wasn't the kyuubi.

Iruka couldn't find him before he had to leave to return to his safe-house, his chuunin escort waiting with his supplies at the gate.

Well. 

Iruka had his address. 

And perhaps, if he couldn't help him by getting him adult supervision, he could get him new clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand so it goes. 
> 
> Title chapters are gonna be taken from "I see Fire" by Ed Sheeran, because for such a fluffy fic, this song is oddly appropriate. And also, extremely shinobi, and very specifically, Konoha.


	3. Keep Careful Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Iruka has an infestation of ANBU and We the Readers encounter some rather more colourful personages.

Iruka tripped over the ANBU in his garden. 

Literally. 

It was evening, but the sun was just starting to set, so the garden's shadows were only softly indigo rather than velvet-dark. It still meant that the ANBU's pale armour more readily merged with the paving stones, and so Iruka couldn't be blamed for tripping over his arm and almost falling face first into the mulberry bush. 

He did land knee first on the ANBU's chest and just barely managed to push away from the bushes so he didn't land flat on him. 

The ANBU tried to smack him away. 

Tried - his hand flopped at Iruka even as he grunted softly. 

The claws of his glove had been - ripped off, so it was just his blunt fingertips and thus he didn't tear up Iruka's kimono, fortunately. 

"ANBU-san?!" 

For a long moment Iruka was almost afraid that it was some other country's ANBU, here to try and assassinate him; the man had been curled up quite neatly in the shadow of the bushes, after all. 

But he quickly recognised the ANBU's shock of pale hair, and Iruka managed to get off his chest without kneeing him in the face, or arms. 

"Hng," said the ANBU. 

He didn't smell of anything bloody, which… didn't mean anything. His armour and clothes could be hiding injuries and - 

"Are you alright, ANBU-san?" 

"'M a plant," the ANBU mumbled after a few breaths.

Iruka stared at him, and then reached forward to brush his hair out of his face. 

The hand flopped at Iruka's, fingers curling unerringly over the pressure points in Iruka's wrist. If his fingers weren't freezing, almost blue with it, and if he had any _strength_ to it, maybe he might have broken Iruka's wrist. 

Instead he was just, holding Iruka's hand. 

Iruka obligingly stopped moving. 

"You're… a plant, ANBU-san?" Iruka said. 

The ANBU made a sound that might almost be considered affirmative. 

Hallucinating, Iruka decided, or perhaps under some sort of genjutsu? 

Iruka carefully put his hands together, and flared his chakra. " _Kai_." 

He thought he saw the ANBU twitch. 

"Are you still a plant, ANBU-san?" 

"Hng," the ANBU said. Iruka waited, watching him breathe. That was a little hard, since his porcelain mask was still on his face - more or less, both it and his hair obscuring his features, so Iruka watched the ANBU's chest rise and fall, very faintly. 

Even breathing, even if it was a little shallow, and his grip though weak was, well intentional. 

"Not a plant," the ANBU said finally, turning his head to look at Iruka. "Geisha-san," he said, mildly surprise. "What are you doing here, in Gra-" he paused. "Ah." 

"Yes. I think you were under a genjutsu," Iruka said. "Can you sit up now?" 

The ANBU shifted, strained and then just, flopped his other hand. "Nah. Would you mind helping me up, Geisha-san?" 

For someone so skinny even under the armour, the ANBU was surprisingly heavy, and Iruka had to put in quite a bit of effort to get him sitting up, propping him up a little. "Do you - are you injured?" 

The ANBU considered for a long moment. "Poison," he said finally. "Mild. Takes a while." 

"Any of the standard antidotes would work?" Iruka asked. "Symptoms?" 

At least he was talking, if slowly. 

The ANBU could give Iruka a simple rundown of the symptoms, and agreed it was one of the more common ones - Iruka had some stock of the antidotes, it'd alleviate his symptoms a little.

With Iruka helping, the ANBU could sort of get his legs functioning enough to get him into the house, though Iruka had to stop and help him get his sandals off. He still trailed a remarkable amount of dirt into it. 

"Is there-" Iruka paused. "Should I signal for help?" 

The ANBU cocked his head, almost thoughtfully. 

"Ah," he said, "that's why I was a plant." nodded decisively. "Was trying to signal my teammate." 

Obviously the poison hadn't worn off completely, Iruka decided. Or the genjutsu. No one Iruka knew of had any jutsu relating to plants besides the long dead Shodaime. 

Iruka went and made him another draught of antidote. 

When he came back, though, with the bowl, there was already another ANBU in the room. 

A little more stocky, dark-haired. His cat-mask nodded at Iruka. 

"Is that the antidote? Thank you, Geisha-san." 

"Maaa," the first ANBU said. "Ask his name?" 

"Taicho," Cat said chidingly. "No." 

"But he found me, even though I was a plant. And then i wasn't.' 

Cat exhaled. "Please excuse my taicho," he said to Iruka "he's not in his right mind. Would you mind leaving the room for a while? Sorry." 

Iruka just handed him the bowl. "Of course, ANBU-san," he said, tipping his head to both of them. "Let me know if I should alert anyone - or if there is more supplies I can provide." 

"This is fine, thank you Geisha-san," Cat said, and Iruka let himself out. When he glanced back, he saw the silvery mop of hair tip towards Cat's chest. 

"Was a plant," he murmured, "why'd you take so long to find me?" 

*** 

There was a polite tap on his door and then the Cat ANBU was sliding it open, coming in with a soft slip of socks on his tatami. The chuunin almost always were silent walking around his safehouse, so Iruka knew that the ANBU was doing it on purpose.

"He's asleep now," said the ANBU, "thank you for your hard work, Geisha-san." 

Iruka had turned at him tapping on his door, and nodded, tucking his hair behind his ear. It was already curling in the humidity, soon he'd have to twist it into a braid before he went to sleep. 

"I am glad he is better," Iruka said. "Should I alert anyone?" 

ANBU - ANBU didn't usually come his way. Hell, jounin didn't usually come his way. ANBU - with one so obviously out of his mind - meant that they must be very far from their proper route, maybe even having missed their proper rendezvous. It made his heart speed up, thinking of it, the possible danger, whatever could have happened, though he was careful to keep his expression and body language as bland and calm as possible. 

"Can you send a message to Konoha?" Cat slipped forward and stood a little awkwardly in front of Iruka's desk until he realised that Cat was waiting for permission to kneel. 

"Please," Iruka said. "I can make tea while you compose your message?" Iruka gestured in front of his desk. "I have some chakra papers, so you can seal it if you need to." 

Of course he would need to, it was unlikely he'd want to send a message straight on a pigeon without any encryption or security. 

Cat hesitated. "Thank you, I appreciate it," He said. "Do you have fast… pigeons?" 

"I have fast birds, yes," Iruka said, and went to set his kettle boiling. 

He could hear the ANBU rustling with his papers, and writing quickly. 

By the time Iruka had turned around to hand him a cup of hot tea, the message was already written and folded up. 

"Here," Iruka said, tugging open one of his lacquered shelves behind his desk, and drew out a small box. His touch unlocked the box, and he could pull out a sheaf of chakra sheets for him to make seals with. "And - " he produced a tiny scroll, small enough to fasten to the back of a sparrow. "You can seal it into this." 

Cat paused, staring at it. "That's very small." 

"Yes, but it can take a full-length letter." Iruka knelt back down, not trying to look at the folded up letter. "You wanted fast and discreet, correct?" he picked up a needle from the small tray he kept next to his brushes, and pricked his index finger, to summon his swiftest sparrow. 

"Ame-chan," he said, petting her little feathered head, "Will go unnoticed, unlike the hawks Hokage-sama uses." 

"You can summon birds?" 

Iruka smiled. "Just a few small ones - I share a contract with my Onii-sama, but i don't have enough chakra to summon much larger. Still, Ame-chan and her friends will go completely unnoticed by enemy nin, even if they won't be able to cover very long distances."

Cat was - probably staring, Iruka supposed. It was difficult to tell with the mask. 

"Here," Iruka said, touching the sparrow's back, indicating the tiny harness she was wearing. "Seal your message and tuck it here. I have to feed Ame-chan." Easy enough - in his garden he grew several berry bushes that his sparrows particularly liked, even if that wasn't all they ate. He had a little box of them he could feed to Ame-chan while Cat considered the security of a sparrow. 

"Thank you," Cat said, finally, writing a seal on the chakra paper that Iruka didn't recognise. It looked more complex than the usual seals he used - probably ANBU then. "If you would put it on Ame-chan and have her deliver it to the Hokage, we would be grateful." 

"It is my job, ANBU-san," Iruka said, dutifully taking the sealed message and using his still bleeding finger to seal it into the scroll, before delicately fixing it into the harness. Ame-chan cheeped, took several berries from his box, before hopping off towards the window and taking flight. 

Cat tipped his head forward. "Thank you for your service, Geisha-san. And the tea?" 

"It is no problem at all," Iruka said. "Are you and - ANBU-san comfortable?" 

Cat hesitated. "Hound. You can call him Hound. And me, Cat." 

Cats and Dogs, Iruka thought, but didn't say anything other than a faint smile. "Cat-san. Are you comfortable? I don't usually receive ANBU." 

It might be his lamp light, but Cat's neck seemed to darken - flush? A little. 

"Aah- No, thank you. It is enough. We should be out of your hair -" he coughed. "Out of your space soon. Geisha-san." 

"Iruka," Iruka said, because well, Cat was incredibly polite, and sometimes… well. It was nice to have someone use his name rather than his title. 

"Oh. Iruka-dono," Cat said. "Thank you. Sorry for disturbing you, I should go check on Taicho now." 

Iruka nodded, standing as the ANBU slipped out on cat-light feet. 

Two ANBU, in less than two weeks since he'd last seen the other - Hound? - before. 

Once is chance, twice is coincidence… 

There won't be a third time, Iruka told himself sternly. There would be no reason for them to be there except by absolute chance. As polite as they were, it could have been more dangerous - Hound had been obviously hallucinating and poisoned - if he hadn't been literally slowed by the poison, he could have broken Iruka's wrist. 

Better not to dwell on their polite presence and get used to chuunin-teams again. 

Right? 

*** 

Both Cat and Hound stayed for only two days - after the first night, Cat said the antidote wasn't required, but they were grateful that Iruka kept having food for them. 

Well they were only two shinobi, and they'd showed up early in the week, when Iruka's weekly orders from the local markets were just arrived. Most of his day-to-day living was obtained from the local markets, while shinobi-specific supplies were delivered on a monthly basis based on his stock-takes, so the ANBU were lucky to have fresh fruit and meat, as opposed to the rations that most of the chuunin teams who arrived at the end of month had. 

In that time, Cat and Hound stayed out of Iruka's way, mostly staying in one of the spare rooms that was on the official floor plan as 'entertainment' but in reality was used to house shinobi who hadn't pissed him off. Cat made polite, quiet, slightly awkward conversation, a little like he never spoke to anyone not-shinobi. Were ANBU like that? Hound was probably still recovering, he never left the room. 

After the second day, however, they both just weren't there when Iruka went to check on them. 

There was, on the other hand, a very beautifully carved mahogany hair-pin on his writing desk. It was so smooth and polished, it was almost as if the wood had grown in that shape. 

Iruka kept it - it was perfect to keep his hair up with. 

*** 

"Greetings and felicitations to you, most hardworking and beautiful of our colleagues!" 

The voice was - not exactly booming, but it carried, to his office, and Iruka had to stand up hurriedly, packing away his papers. 

He hadn't expected anyone to come by, and the wards hadn't pinged - 

No wait, there it was, a very polite tug , too, just as Iruka stepped out to the front door. He hadn't bothered to do up his hair today, not having any real clients, so his hair was a single braid rolled up and fastened with the mahogany hairpin - he only did need one, and that pin had been perfect, since it didn't come with a twin. 

Iruka didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the bright green was… um. Blinding. 

"Shinobi-san?" Iruka managed, and then the … absolute vision in green was bowing to Iruka. 

"Greetings," He repeated. "I apologise for intruding on your important work, but my teammate requires a little help." 

Iruka had been just completely dazzled by his appearance, he almost didn't notice the others behind him. 

Just two other shinobi, and one of them was very pale, like he was washed out completely. 

Iruka had no idea what kind of jutsu could have done that, but - "Of course, shinobi-san," he said, and undid the wards to let them in without setting off the traps. 

He didn't ask what where was their fourth member; he could smell smoke from the other two. 

It turns out that the third member, thus far so quiet and subdued that Iruka honestly really had overlooked him, was a Hyuuga, and the team medic. All he needed, he told Iruka, was access to his drug and medical supplies, and he'd take care of the rest, thank you. 

The third member was pretty much unconscious, so there was that. 

"Thank you Geisha-san, this was most kind! Please do not let us take the time from your work," the jounin told Iruka when he tried to give them at least some warm soup. "It is very inconvenient, I understand, for us to trespas on your safehouse." 

"Shinobi-san," Iruka tried to interrupt, couldn't help smiling. Despite his effusive words, there was something about it that rang true, like he really honestly believed that Iruka was doing important work (He was. His work WAS important, there were almost half a dozen reports come in from Land of Water alone, messages sent to several of his fellow geisha via shinobi or bird, and Iruka was almost sure that the shape of these reports might lead to something that Satsuki-nii-sama was working on in the Daimyo's court. ) But many shinobi who came by to him, particularly the chuunin, saw him as a mere stop-house to be supplied, or to use said supplies before they went on to their missions, or returned from their missions, it was a surprise to have someone actually acknowledge it honestly. 

"Call me Gai. Or Maito," the jounin said, and Iruka blinked. That was rare - most shinobi wanted Iruka's name first, as if he was the lower ranking person here and while technically he was only genin ranked, he had passed his mizuage, same as they had passed their chuunin exams, and was in charge of his own safe-house, rather than working under another. He never gave his name out first, particularly to those who thought they _deserved_ it. 

"Gai-san," he said. "It is honestly no problem. I am pleased to help, and my work can be delayed a little to make sure you are comfortable." 

Gai smiled at Iruka, almost blinding him with its brilliance. "We shall endeavour not to take up too much of your valuable time! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help!" 

Iruka blinked, feeling almost like it was a burst of sun. "Just, keep track of what you used, Gai-san, that is all I need from you." 

"My many thanks, Geisha-san!" 

Iruka bowed back to him, and - and just because Gai hadn't asked his name, well. "Call me Iruka," he told him. "Leave the bowls when you're done, I'll deal with them." 

*** 

He'd written that report on Gai's team and sent it off that night, but he was probably too hasty. 

It was maybe three in the morning when he felt a shudder of chakra in his garden - he would have slept through it, if he hadn't been working on cross-referencing Mitsuki-neesama's intel of one of the Lords' military movements with that of a town's further south, having had to go through the last three months of Miki's letters to discern a pattern that was giving Iruka concerns about potential military unrest. 

(As much as military unrest was technically good business for Konoha, the geisha never liked actual fighting. Too risky, it disrupted intel lines, and… maybe Iruka was idealistic, but he liked peace.) 

Apparently, Gai didn't think that he would have been awake, because when Iruka came out carefully in the garden, Gai was weeping. 

"Gai-san," Iruka said, and snapped open his umbrella. The light rain would have covered the man's tears, but he didn't try to wipe them away when he turned to look at Iruka. "Are you… alright?" 

"Harada is dead." 

Iruka blinked for a moment before he realised that Gai meant his third teammate. 

"Oh. I'm sorry," he said. What could he say? What could he do? 

This was the first time someone had died under his roof and - 

Gai, jounin, was crying. 

"I killed him," Gai said hands clenching, and then suddenly he was going to his knees, in the rain softened grass. "I had miscalculated, i made a mistake, and my teammates paid for it -" 

"Did you accomplish your mission?" Iruka asked, because… because he didn't know what to say. 

"Yes." his voice shook, a little. And Iruka swallowed, before leaning down to touch his shoulder. 

"Did you try to keep them alive?" 

"Yes. Kami-sama, I tried. But I made a mistake - told -" 

Iruka touched his cheek. It was wet with tears and the light mist of rain, and his fingers seemed to silence him. 

"Then at least, they have died knowing you tried your best, Gai-san," iruka said, softly. 

Gai's head bowed, and his great shoulders shook, but he didn't push Iruka away, or do more than weep, and Iruka stayed with him, using his umbrella to cover them both. 

*** 

Satsuki-niisama had written back, this one coded for just him, which meant it was a more or less private letter. 

Iruka unrolled it and then snorted. 

_Just because you haven't seen jounin or ANBU on your route for almost a year is not any indication of how likely you will get them, Iruka-kun_ , Satsuki-niisama had written, and Iruka could just imagine his mentor leaning over the desk, writing it with his delicate hand. 

_Sometimes it ebbs and flows - one year you will have none and then another you will have them every month. It's just like sweet potato harvest._

Iruka snorted, and fed Ko-chan a berry off his fingers. "Satsuki-niisama, you dork." 

_I can imagine your face right now, Iruka-kun. But you know how ANBU are. Underground, hidden. Sweet and lovelier than the normal potatoes when you can get them. But oh, so_ tasty _when you roast them._

"Are you saying I need to hit them more, Satsuki-niisama?" Iruka said. Ko-chan cocked his head and peeped at him. "He just called ANBU sweet potatoes," Iruka told Satsuki-niisama's sparrow. 

Ko-chan peeped again and pecked his fingers until Iruka fed him another berry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, sweet potatoes. Who doesn't like them? They make such a viable alternative to normal potatoes (which I haaaate), and make a lovely hash. Great addition to stews, and if you use the red sweet potatoes, they also dye your stew a delicious red-brown! 
> 
> Everyone should have sweet potatoes (and their equivalent) in their lives.


	4. Hold Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important personage comes by. 
> 
> Iruka is not terribly happy about it. 
> 
> *warnings* : Sexual harassment is here, written in a light, funny tone but the author does not condone sexual harassment in real life. this chapter is skimmable if you want to.

Iruka got the warning when he was taking his hair out of his braid for the day. He had been planning on just oiling it and then leaving it loose with only one or two pins to keep most of his curls out of his face, but when he saw the bird come in through the window - a parrot, this time - and drop a little stone frog on his dresser, he could have cursed. 

"How far away is he?" he asked the parrot. 

It cocked its head. "He left Jun's safe-house two days ago," the parrot said, and then shook itself out and started preening its wings. 

"Shit," Iruka said. That meant - any minute now. 

He didn't have time to do his hair up properly, nor to fortify himself with the proper number of layers of kimono that was pretty much all his armour he could have. 

He rebraided his hair quickly, tying off the end and letting it flop down his back before he raced to haul out his kimono. So many layers of silk and brocade - he needed something that would let him move, but also something that would keep wandering hands from - 

"Iru-chan!" 

That. 

Iruka yanked on the first kimono he could, pulling the obi on. He'd have to make do with sloppy dressing because he didn't want -

"Oh ho, are you still sleeping, Iru-chan?" 

He didn't want _that man_ seeing him in his sleeping clothes. 

And it had been such a lovely lazy day too. 

*** 

Jiraiya was an irredeemable pervert, in every way you could imagine pervert. None of them liked him. 

Sadly, he was also Konoha's spymaster, who roamed further afield than the Geisha Network, which was limited mostly to Fire Country.

They did have a few geisha in other countries, but those were essentially temporary when a high ranked lord from say, Water Country, took a liking to one of the onee-sama or onii-sama, and then all of them were dreadfully worried until they returned to Fire Country. As much as such intel might be valuable, the geisha preferred to have their agents firmly within Fire Country borders. Such long-distance intel was for shinobi to deal with.

Jiraiya was the one who dealt with that kind of international intel - and he did a circuit of the Geisha safehouses to drop off his intelligence if he didn't send reports directly to the Hokage. 

He didn't come by often - just every few months or so, but it was erratic enough that they all had a warning system in place for when he inevitably dropped in. 

Iruka running his own safehouse for almost two years meant he'd gotten to have plenty of up-close and personal attention from the Legendary Toad Sannin, which Iruka regretted _dreadfully_. 

Everyone knew the story of how Jiraiya had been a complete perv since he was young - he'd once made a comment about Senju Tsunade's chest and she'd decked him through a wall. 

Apparently most of the shinobi thought it was _funny_. 

And now Iruka was - dodging his hands. 

"Iru-chan, I haven't _seen_ you for so _long_ ," Jiraiya crooned at him, while Iruka slapped his hands away with his chopsticks. 

"I know," Iruka said, as flatly as he could. It didn't matter what tone you used with him - he never took offense. 

Iruka supposed that was the one good thing about Jiraiya. _Nothing_ Iruka - or any of the geisha - did ever offended him. He was so laughably out of their league, that anything was a mere tickle to him. 

And then ended up in his books. 

"I've missed you so much," Jiraiya said, smile sly and widened when Iruka dropped a tray of tea and refreshments in front of him. 

"I'm sure you did," Iruka said. "What intel have you got for me?" 

"Straight to business, and no warm words for me, Iru-chan? So _cruel_ ," Jiraiya pouted, but at least he was eating which meant his hands were safely occupied and Iruka could sit, irritable, and fasten his obi properly. 

Iruka glared at Jiraiya when the Sannin's eyes slipped down the somewhat gaping collar of Iruka's kimono, and snapped his clothes further together. 

"I'm here doing a job, Jiraiya-san," he said. "So should you." 

"Maa maa, so stern, Iru-chan," And his eyes were sparking and Iruka tried not to heave a sigh , because that _look_ meant that in about three months, the next book in Jiraiya's series is probably going to involve some extremely stern dominatrix character. If he named the character after a _fish_ again, Iruka was going to brain the Sannin with his tea-tray. 

*** 

The intel that Jiraiya brought him was, as always, terrifyingly good, especially since there were no proper network of Konoha agents outside of Fire Country. And the form of it was always well organised and easy to integrate into Iruka's own work, opening up a huge webs of context and reasons that previously would have been conjecture and weak inferences. 

It still was not worth the ass-groping Jiraiya had managed to sneak in. 

The tea-tray had been a bit out of reach, so Iruka had had to resort to using his tea-pot instead, the cast iron bouncing off the man's hard skull. 

In reparations, Jiraiya also had to fix up the wards and seals for his safe-house, while Iruka hastily retreated to his study to hide until it was time to sleep. 

At least Jiraiya never actually tried to sneak into any of their private rooms. 

*** 

"These seals? Where had you seen them, Iru-chan?" Jiraiya was blinking down at the seals that Iruka had drawn on the paper and pushed towards him. 

Iruka shrugged, not answering. The ANBU hadn't shown up again, not after the whole 'I am a plant' incident, and maybe he never would, but Iruka was curious. 

"What do they do?" he asked, thinking of the bloody streaks the ANBU - Hound, Cat had called him Hound - had smeared onto the bandages. 

"Net seals," Jiraiya said, finally. "Sort of - they make a netting, of sort. Takes a lot of - blood to draw these." 

He looked up, eyes narrowed. "Where did you see them, Iru-chan?" 

With his reaction, Iruka guessed that these were - on the so-called list of forbidden seals and jutsu. Iruka had heard about them in the Academy - high level things that were terrible, and might well turn on the user too easily. 

He shrugged again. 

"Well, you can try to use them on chakra paper with the usual ink," Jiraiya said after a moment's thought. "They should be safe enough then." 

"But a lot weaker?" 

Jiraiya's mouth twitched. "You shouldn't be using any stronger versions, Iru-chan." and then his expression turned leering and he was snagging Iruka by the waist and hauling him in close. "But don't worry, I could protect you, Iru-chan!" 

Iruka jabbed him in the throat with his brush. 

*** 

Iruka breathed a sigh of relief when the Sannin finally left, having disgorged all the intel he was supposed to give Iruka over the course of two days while Iruka managed to keep his virtue intact. 

And considering where he was heading next… Iruka summoned his largest, fastest bird, a brown-eared bulbul, and hooked the little frog statuette into its harness. "Go on," he told it, "At least you'll get worms at Hanami's." 

Poor Hanami, he thought. Jiraiya'd told Iruka that he was going to be staying at _her_ safehouse for almost a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the 'net seal', as field medicine, can serve as temporary stitches: keeps the wound closed enough if you lack bandages. But the way Kakashi used it, with blood and chakra, was to keep his organs IN, and from tearing apart under the effort needed to move. It would be way beyond Iruka's ability to set and maintain, and frankly probably dangerous for Iruka to try, hence Jiraiya cautioning him against it. 
> 
> The nice part about Naruto is that you can make shit up lol. 
> 
> Sorry about the shortish chapter, it just felt like a good place to end it. Jiraiya is hard to write, particularly when you take into account his canonical behaviour towards Tsunade and basically any behaviour towards female characters. 
> 
> As much as this was written in as light a tone as possible, Jiraiya's behaviour is really not a safe working environment. I cannot understand why the Geisha (or any kunoichi) would tolerate this except for the fact that 
> 
> a) Jiraiya is extremely powerful as a shinobi  
> b) he is literally Sandaime's student   
> c) he is also kind of their boss, or boss-adjacent, running the international intelligence network while they are local intelligence agents. 
> 
> In RL, I'd hope there is a way to report his harassing ass, but in RL there are also cases of being unable to leave such a job or reporting him doesn't get anything done. so.... :| 
> 
> 'luckily', he doesn't do much more and he doesn't take offense at being yelled at, or any of the self-defense measures the geisha goes through, so. yay?


	5. I will Cover My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out that it isn't the last Iruka sees of ANBU after all.

Iruka just didn't have the chakra-reserves to summon larger than the bulbul; or rather, he had the reserves but not the stamina in using it for very long. It meant that he could really only summon small sparrows for real cross-country delivery - otherwise any larger packages which couldn't fit in the tiny message scrolls had to be sent with his chuunin teams. 

When he suddenly started having packages _to_ send to Konoha - rather than having them delivered to him via his supply runs, quite a number of the chuunin teams made - well, faces. 

"Is it really that important?" the chuunin asked. She hadn't offered her name, and Iruka hadn't asked. 

"Every assignment is important, Chuunin-san," Iruka said, mildly, not quite demurely, and the chuunin huffed as she glared at the neatly wrapped packet, before stuffing it into one of the larger scrolls. She hadn't tried demanding to know what was inside; if she had… well Iruka would have been very coldly polite and been very sure to ask for her name. 

Not that it would have done much good, not really - technically, he shouldn't be sending packages back to Konoha, not with the chuunin anyway. 

But the clothes he had had made for Naruto had just gotten finished, and while they were a subdued set of orange and navy, he wanted Naruto to get it before the weather started to turn cold. 

It wouldn't actually _be_ that cold when he did do his next village visit, but it wasn't fair to the boy. 

His letters - sporadic, terribly written - said he was doing fantastic in the Academy, except for… well, basically everything, and Iruka remembered his clothes. He wasn't going to leave him to freeze, even if he _was_ the container for the kyuubi. 

He hoped that it fit - Naruto didn't seem to have any idea of what sizes meant for clothes, so he'd gone with 'scruffy twelve year old' and hoped it was big enough for Naruto to grow into anyway. 

He waited till the chuunin were gone and he could reset the wards and then consider whether he wanted to start work on his reports or practice his poetry. 

The local lords didn't really do much in way of poetry; clever word play and teasing was more than enough. But Satsuki-niisama occasionally sent back a poem or two from the courts and Geisha could NOT afford to appear provincial.

Poetry, he decided. It wasn't his particular favourite, but knowing about the new and upcoming poets, and the current conversations was important. He was not going to be in this particular safehouse forever, after all. 

Assignments tended to be three to five years long - not just because you could get tired of the area, but also because the area could be tired of you - and then you might start to miss out things, or new safehouses opened up and needed experienced people to man them. 

There was a new book of poetry he had to get to, and re-read the letters from the others about the poets and the poetry themselves - 

There was a rather frantic yank on the wards - polite enough to let him know that there was incoming, but that they were coming in anyway. 

Iruka hurriedly got up to the front door - had the chuunin team turned around for some reason? Had they been attacked? So close to Konoha, such an attack was too _terrifying_ to contemplate. 

But instead, it was an ANBU - this time with a mask with yellow and red swirls and a pointed muzzle, its rounded ears sweeping back into the ANBU's honey-blond hair. 

"Geisha-san," he said. "I apologise for the rudeness, we have incoming injured, are you able to prep a room for him?" 

Iruka blinked and nodded, hurriedly undoing the wards and traps. The incoming ANBU must be badly hurt that the remaining team had sent ahead someone to alert Iruka to disable the traps. "Of course, here, what do you need?" 

"Standard medical supplies, if you have them, chakra - papers -" the ANBU said, following Iruka, his chakra fizzling down Iruka's spine, but if it weren't for that and the ANBU's voice, Iruka wouldn't even _hear_ the man. 

Danger, someone was in danger, and the ANBU was - worried about it. 

"I'll get that," Iruka said, and hurried. 

Standard medical supplies, and he set water boiling just in case, basins and clean bandages and linens. He also went and retrieved his chakra-papers and paused. 

Earlier in the week he'd been studiously copying the net-seal from memory. The chakra-drain had been incredible, just drawing it and he understood why Jiraiya had said he was to do no more than that. So now he had a thin stack of those - and. 

Well the ANBU might need them. Or at least, make use of them. 

He put them on top of the blank chakra-sheets and then handed them to the ANBU - 

There were already two more ANBU in the room, now, having slipped in on shadow-silent feet while Iruka was in the other room. The stink of blood was cloyingly thick already. Was one of their masks Hound's? 

"ANBU-san, would these help?" 

The blond ANBU tilted his head down at the seals - It wasn't very professionally done but well, it's not like Iruka could do anything with them except maybe burn them. The chakra had already been spent. 

"These are Hound's seals," the ANBU said. "He was here?" 

The fact that they were recognisable was a good thing, Iruka thought. "Yes," he said. 

"These will help, thank you, Geisha-san. We should have one more team-member -" 

"He's discouraging pursuit," the one who was bleeding flicked his hand. Or at least, most covered in blood. "Should be here soon." 

"Shut up and lie down, Hound," the ANBU said. 

"You shut up, Rat," the ANBU muttered. 

He mustn't be too injured if he could talk, Iruka thought. Hound. Hound was here - unless you could have more than one mask the same? But he sounded the same, and Iruka decided if he sounded the same, had the same mask, was called the same name, he probably was the same ANBU. 

Unless he used a henge and - 

Iruka was going to leave before he thought himself into circles. 

"If that is all?" Iruka asked. "Please don't hesitate to ask." 

Rat tipped his head again. "Sorry to bother you," he said, ever so politely, and when Iruka shut the door, he thought he heard Hound yelp. 

"Didn't I say for you to lie down? It's like babysitting a child - Rooster, sit on him." 

"Rooster's already injured, you can't - Ow!" 

"Good. stay there." 

Iruka'd never seen Hound in a team before - if they could squabble like children, then perhaps it's not so dire. 

He turned away and nearly walked into the fourth and final team member. 

"Oh! Sorry, ah -" he looked up, automatically making sure the wood hairpin was in place. 

And watched Cat's eyeholes follow the motion of his hand. 

Oh, it really had been from Cat, then.

"Iruka-dono," Cat said, after a pause. 

"Cat-san. I'm glad you're fine." 

"...Yes," Cat said, "You're good- too. I mean." 

Iruka didn't quite hide a smile. "Here," he said, "Your teammates are that way -" 

"Yes, I know, I mean," Cat said, and he shifted, pressing to the wall as Iruka walked past him and. 

Iruka turned his head a little to glance at Cat over his shoulder. "Thank you for the hairpin." 

Cat's swallow was _audible_. "Aah. You're welcome." 

*** 

Despite Hound's lucidness and apparent vigor, he wasn't exactly up for walking or running so quickly, and while Rooster had been the one to haul him over, rooster wasn't in shape for much either. 

Rat was, however, remarkably chatty, for an ANBU - or maybe it was just that ANBU generally were and Iruka's previous two encounters were just because Hound was injured as hell. 

"So you've met Hound before?" Rat said, taking the tray from Iruka, leaving Cat to carry the other, because apparently no one wanted Iruka to do any actual serving, and it was a nice feeling indeed. 

"Yes," Iruka said. "He was -" 

Hound made a little noise, but it could have been because Rooster was sitting up to take a bowl from Cat and maybe accidentally kneed him somewhere tender. Iruka wasn't sure.

"- injured," Iruka continued. 

"Thank you for the help, Geisha-san," Hound said. 

All of them were scrupulously _not_ using his name, though he knew that they must have heard Cat use it. But because he hadn't given them his name, they were being ultra polite and - 

Satsuki-niisama was right, ANBU were sweet potatoes. 

"Bled all over everything, did he," Rat said. 

Iruka hummed and handed out tea-cups. "I probably shouldn't say." 

Hound huffed. 

"Pretty sure you can say it, it's alright, we're all ANBU," Genma said. 

"Taicho," Hound said, and he sounded like a whiny child and Iruka smiled. 

"You're his taicho," Iruka said, because he was feeling a little bold. "But he was also - Cat-san's superior? Are commanding officers not fixed?" 

Rat sat back on his heels head cocked, looking like a particularly inquisitive sparrow, even if his mask was a rat's. 

"Yup," Rat said. Iruka knew that the others were eating while his face was turned - Rat was just holding his cup and not drinking. "The ranking officer is the more powerful one. You know the zodiac?" 

Rat, rooster, hound… cat. Cat wasn't on the zodiac. 

"Yeah, Cat-kun is .. not on the ranking yet," Rat said, with something like evil glee, and Cat made a little sound of despair. 

"Taicho!" 

"So it's like the - ranked according to the zodiac?" Iruka asked, eyes widening a little. 

Twelve zodiac animals, just like the twelve months. Granted, the onee-sama and onii-sama weren't ranked per-se despite the placement of their code-names, but certainly Mutsuki-neesama being posted directly to the Daimyo's Court was no accident. 

"Pretty much, yeah," Rat said, and Iruka thought he could HEAR the smirk. "Rat outranks everyone here." 

Someone coughed - it might even be a quiet choke on rice. 

"Taicho!" Cat said, a little plaintively, and Iruka felt a tiny bit bad that Rat was rubbing it in? Or something? 

"I should, leave you to your dinner," he told them. "I apologise for my curiosity." 

"It's fine," Rat said, "But sure, we shouldn't keep you from your own dinner, Geisha-san." 

"It's fine, you can use my name," Iruka said because Rat was friendly, and - well, ANBU were really quite polite there was no problem was there? It wasn't like Iruka's name was _classified_ , it was just a matter of manners, and so far? It seemed like the higher ranked a shinobi, the better manners they had, Jiraiya completely excluded. 

"Iruka-dono," Rat said, tipping his head. "Thank you." 

Iruka bowed a little, and made himself leave. 

" _Taicho!_ " Cat said as Iruka shut the door. "You know it's not -" 

"Eh, it's okay, it's _Iruka-dono_ ," Rat said. "He's one of our better intel agents isn't he?" 

Iruka couldn't help feeling a little smug and no-little pleased at that, and made himself leave without overhearing yet more. 

*** 

"Taicho, that's misleading," Kakashi muttered. 

"I wasn't lying," Genma said, setting their own wards and a sound-jutsu on the room before tipping his mask back to drink the tea. 

Mmm he loved gyokuro tea. 

"You _were_ ," Tenzou said, and he was too far away for Genma to smack so Raidou did it for him, even if he had to lean a little. Their good little kouhai stayed still for it and looked like a sad puppy. 

"He's very clever," Genma said. "He's definitely one of the better intelligence agents; have you seen his reports? I know you have, Kakashi." 

Kakashi didn't answer, ate his food instead. 

"And since _someone_ keeps visiting," Genma continued, looking at Kakashi's bowed silvery head, and totally noting Tenzou going pink, "and let him see his _seals_ ," which everyone in the damn room knew were taught to Kakashi by Minato who in turn had learnt them from Jiraiya, "it's best to head him off with a little nudge." 

"That doesn't even make sense," Tenzou complained. 

"Doesn't have to," Raidou said. "Genma just likes to be a dick." 

Genma grinned and ate his share of dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, there's no real plot going on, it's not even a very GOOD way to mislead Iruka with - but. 
> 
> Since shinobi generally don't actually know the full job scope that geisha do, and the actual ranks within geisha, i figured it's more than fair for Iruka to have some misconceptions of how shinobi are organised too. Like, sure, he learned in the academy till genin, but that doesn't mean he knows entirely what it takes to become chuunin, or jounin, let alone ANBU. Genma's taking full advantage of that just because it's HILARIOUS and actually pretty harmless. 
> 
> Plus, you know you're not supposed to let REAL information about ANBU leak out. Fake and rumours though, that's okay. LOL 
> 
> (The title sounds DARK as hell and it's all about Genma lying his lying liar ass off. LOL)


	6. For If the Dark Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's sweet potato harvest...

It was like an avalanche. Or perhaps, like Satsuki-niisama had slyly suggested, a harvest. 

Once Hound had shown up in in his room bloody and leaking important bits, ANBU kept showing up - more often just the one ANBU, all of them painfully well-mannered, even if they were all but dripping with danger and injury. 

Not all at once of course - ANBU _elite_ , and well, Iruka wasn't surprised that there were really not that many. 

But over the past three months he'd seen on average one a fortnight, sometimes just passing soundlessly through the wards to make use of the shinobi supplies, tipping him a polite greeting and then disappearing into the night, sometimes gritting through something that would probably scar Iruka for life if he knew in exact detail what necessitated the entire team holding them down and forcing jutsu after healing jutsu on them. 

Jounin trickled in too, sometimes - Iruka saw Gai several times, and so did the rest of his colleagues, his presence lighting the network with awed incredulousness that rippled to all the safehouses. Gai was a gem amongst shinobi, beautifully mannered, his turn of speech lyrical, and undyingly awed by _them_. 

Iruka had suspicions of Hanami's attachment to Gai, the courtship probably entertaining all of them, a welcome distraction from the brewing situation in Wind Country that was the very likely cause for the influx of jounin all along the south-west of branches of their network. He always had flowers for any geisha he met, which was more touching than you'd believe, and almost poetic in the way he spoke and moved. 

Iruka didn't know whether he should be concerned about the jounin who passed through - most of them grimly polite, windburned and smelling of ash, sand and lightning, unlike the way shinobi who came in from the west would smell of salt and water and fish.

But then, his job wasn't to try to fix things - he collected intel from his local town, received his letters and got woken up in the early morning so early that it could be by some standards _late_ in the night by a dog. 

It was a sleek thing, all dark brown fur that made the shadows look alive and almost terrifying, eyes glinting in the dark, and the navy band and the dulled shine of the Konoha hitai-ate glinting like a collar. 

"Iruka-dono," it said, which meant that the ninken's summoner had met Iruka before, and Iruka'd given them his name - "If you'd follow me. Please." 

Iruka wasn't the best field medic, but he knew enough to grab a small bag that he could sling across his shoulders and follow the dog - hoping he wasn't expected to go hopping through the trees like a shinobi would, but if the summoner was far enough away, desperate enough … 

It wasn't that far. 

Hound wasn't terribly injured - wasn't bleeding everywhere like the first time - but he definitely looked shaky, and cradling one arm to himself like it was broken. Iruka had to take his glove off to realise that his hand too, were a mess, like someone had pounded the fine bones of his fingers with a hammer, which meant jutsu was going to be a difficulty for a while. 

He could, however splint them and try a simple healing jutsu, enough to jumpstart the healing and help him back to the safehouse to curl up safe with his dog. 

*** 

He found Hound in the small bamboo grove one day later. Earlier, Iruka had thought he was still sleeping, guarded by the shadowy shapes of dogs that were probably more teeth and claw than they looked, so he'd gone to get his flute and practiced quietly. He could play three different instruments but he'd wanted the haunting song of the flute over the watery ripples of his koto, because the way Hound's skin - the tiny patches not quite covered by glove and armour, his shoulders - were raw from wind and sand and sun, and it wasn't like Iruka didn't know that Kaze's Daimyo was hiring Konoha nin to take out his rivals and Suna's shinobi couldn't be happy about being literally _undercut_. 

After he was done and had gone to see if the ANBU was awake enough to need food - and his ninken probably would need feeding too - the dogs were a pile asleep but the ANBU wasn't there. His dogs didn't seem worried, so Iruka was not, and eventually came upon him in the small bamboo grove just a little ways past Iruka's garden. 

"Iruka-dono," the ANBU said, a two foot long length of bamboo in his hands. 

It looked like he might have mutilated a few stands of bamboo to get it, and it was still green . 

Iruka raised an eyebrow. 

The ANBU half-ducked his head, and dug the tip of a kunai into the bamboo, making - 

It took a moment before Iruka realised that Hound was making a flute. 

"It's not-" going to work. The bamboo was too green, and too thin all around, the finger holes were more than a little off, but Iruka stopped himself. 

The ANBU put away his kunai, tilting the flute a little, and then held it out to Iruka. 

"For me?" Iruka said. 

"Yes, Iruka-dono," Hound said. 

"Why?" 

The ANBU shrugged his sunburned shoulders - Iruka was going to find that aloe vera gel he had somewhere, and force him into slathering it on. "You didn't take my mask off," He said casually. 

"I know ANBU protocol," Iruka said, but he was taking the bamboo carefully, turning it over in his hands.   
The holes were a little rough, it'd need to be sanded, but Iruka touched his lips to the top-most hole anyway. 

Both of them winced at the sound. 

"Well, not bad for your first attempt," Iruka said, looking at Hound's somewhat hang-dog … body language. 

His colleague Cat had left him gifts, feline and furtive, the curl of wood grain expert and perfect. This then, was a dog's gift, open and hopeful, the dark eye-holes of his mask seeming huge and hopeful, everything about the flute inexpert, raw. 

ANBU probably didn't have much chance to do this sort of thing, did they? Making things that _weren't_ weapons of mass destruction… Struck by that thought, he tucked the flute into his obi and then snagged a few bamboo leaves off the bamboo stands. "Here, have you seen a leaf-whistle?" 

*** 

Iruka kept the flute on its own shelf, with its own little stand, the polished wood already a contrast to the slight curl and warp of the bamboo. Shut it away safe and private in his own rooms, the space hidden away from anyone who might visit for his services. It having its own space just like the hairpins had their own space in his jewellery cases.

*** 

He made an effort to go into Konoha more often - Naruto was making his way through school, and his stories of Academy life was ridiculous, over the top, as if Iruka couldn't remember his own time there. 

While Naruto was terrible at letters, he was effusive in person, somehow managing to snag Iruka's hand when he was heading back from the Quartermaster's. 

"Iru-nii! You're actually here! C'mon, you promised to treat me!" 

It was late afternoon, it wasn't that late, and Iruka had laughed and let him tow him towards Ichiraku, uncaring of the kimono and the silks. For all that he was close - relatively - to Konoha, he got few jounin-led genin teams, and where he would smack away attempts to touch him by grown adult shinobi, he didn't mind the intimacy of Naruto pulling him into the small stall. 

"Alright, alright, i did promise," Iruka said. "But just for some gyouza." 

But how could he resist Naruto's big blue eyes, and _not_ order him bowl after bowl of ramen? In the time since he'd first saw Naruto to now, Naruto's somehow managed to carve out some allowance from what Iruka kept sending him to become Ichiraku's most notorious and frequent customer, and tried everything on the menu, and he was going to shamelessly use Iruka's physical presence here to try it all out again. 

Despite him being the demon container, and doubtlessly all the adults avoiding him, Naruto had managed to eke out some friends. Iruka thought his own obvious presence must have helped somewhat - Geisha had a particularly exotic and mysterious standing within Konoha, a mostly untouchable and unapproachable aura outside of their work entertaining clients. Certainly Naruto had made friends of a sort with Inuzuka Kiba, because which Inuzuka could resist pranks and other loud messes? 

Iruka couldn't help laughing at Naruto recounting their hijinks, lingering with his plate of gyouza, and maybe egging him on a little because Naruto was like the kid brother Iruka never had. His intake-group had become close friends, but now most of them had been posted all around Fire Country, just letters keeping them in touch, while Naruto was here, vivid and bright and alive, a loud window into the life that Iruka had turned his back on when he'd decided to follow Satsuki-niisama into a different one. 

"And- and then Suzume-sensei _said_ -" 

"There you are, Iruka!" 

A hand landed heavily on his shoulder, startling Iruka so hard he'd grabbed for his fan and almost slapped it - 

"Oh! Mizuki!" 

Mizuki leaned in, his eyes narrow and creased with irritation, pale hair slipping forward - "You've been here all along? With -" 

He turned and looked properly at the kid and then his eyes widened with surprise, that he quickly covered before Naruto noticed. 

"Uzumaki," he said .

"Mizuki-sensei?" 

"Hey, Uzumaki, so you've stolen Iruka - Iruka-dono here, huh?" And the smile he gave Naruto was just that hint of plastic, but then Iruka had - oh god he'd stood Mizuki up for an hour, he realised as he checked the clock on the wall. 

"Iru-nii treated me to ramen," Naruto said. "Why're you calling him that -" 

"That's the way you are supposed to, Iruka-dono is a full-fledged geisha after all," Mizuki said, and his smile was all teeth. 

"Ah, Mizuki, it's alright, he doesn't have to -" 

"And you've taken advantage of him enough, he's busy, right Iruka-dono?" 

"Ah," Iruka said, reaching up to pet Mizuki's fingers, if a little gingerly. "Yeah, sorry, Naruto-kun, I have to go. But it's not taking advantage, I wanted to, i did promise, I'll see you again, later, alright?" 

Naruto was looking between them both and then his eyes were widening. "Oh, _oh_. Right, I'll - later, then Iru-nii! I have to go train anyway!" 

"Yeah, do that," Mizuki said. 

"That was uncalled for," Iruka said, a little stiffly, frowning at the way Naruto bound off. "It wasn't like he had stolen my wallet or anything." 

"He's a trouble-maker. And you stood me up for an hour." 

Iruka winced. "Yes, I lost track of time. I'm sorry." He tucked his fan back into his obi and stood, turning and snagging Mizuki's hand properly. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." 

Mizuki took a huge breath and then shook off his irritation like a dog. "Alright, yeah, you're gonna make it up to me, Iruka- _dono_." 

"You don't have to call me that, you know it, Mizuki." but hey at least Mizuki was smiling for real now. 

Iruka felt really bad - he should have kept better track of time. "Tell me about teaching at the academy, it sounds stressful." 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ANBU are dorks. 
> 
> SUCH DORKS. 
> 
> Also this is the point when i realised that it was Really Slow Burn. 
> 
> (In the second part of this series is when i actually started screaming about it)


	7. Shadow upon the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ANBU really don't seem to go away. 
> 
> Iruka returns to Konoha for Naruto's graduation exam. 
> 
> Warning Trigger
> 
> Rape and exceedingly possessive emotionally abusive(?) language here, as well as physical violence. Please read the notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this is it, this is the terrible chapter. The terrible scene is between signs of $$$ so just ctrl+F to find the symbols and skip if you want to. There's a summary of it at the end of the chapter. Stay safe guys! 
> 
> ***
> 
> * * *
> 
> ***

"Thank you, Iruka-dono." 

Iruka looked up from the book he was reading in the shade of his garden, finally warm enough after the melt of snow he could come out without the need for a jacket over his kimono. 

Cat was hanging off Hound's shoulder for a change, limp and mildly irritable, holding a crutch. 

"Oh," Iruka said, eyes wide. "Are - is - This is unexpected, for you, Hound-san. You not being injured this time." How was he supposed to accept the thanks? Thanks for what? 

 

Well Hound was obviously fine, he sounded quite cheerful. "That leaf whistle proved immensely helpful. I used it on my mission to get Cat-san's attention." 

Cat grumbled. "A little _late_." 

"It's not my fault you fell out of a tree," Hound said, aggressively pleased and bright and it mustn't have been a bad mission, even with Cat's obvious injury. 

"Do you need help, Cat-san?" Iruka asked, starting to stand. 

"No, No need, Iruka-dono, it's just a sprain." 

Iruka still hovered, a little, because it was strange enough to see Hound be the one whole and Cat the one limping. 

It must have been a bad sprain, probably, since he knew for a fact that ANBU ran around on broken limbs all the time. 

"I'll just get you both tea then perhaps a splint?" 

"Thank you Iruka-dono," Hound said and Iruka wondered what a grin would look like, on that face. 

What would Cat look like, grumbly and pouting? 

Those were useless questions - he shouldn't be thinking about them at all, but. 

It was hard to dismiss, after all. 

***

 _Iru-nii! I'm taking the exam next week! I'm gonna be a ninja, you just wait!_

It wasn't often that Naruto wrote to him, and for many reasons, Iruka supposed. He was never very academic, after the first letter Iruka had realised that Naruto's writing level was rather poor. 

(That he was raised on his own, with silent ANBU _guards_ instead of actual guardians, still made him angry, for all that he couldn't actually show the anger to the Hokage.) 

So Iruka had simplified his writing, using more kana rather than the more complex kanji, kept his letters short but frequent. If nothing else, it would be something else that Naruto would be reading other than the Academy's textbooks. 

Over the last season, he'd been trying to help Naruto; he couldn't be there in person to help with the actual jutsu practice, but he could help with the written and the theory, sending him several letters over the weeks, trying to give him tips for the upcoming examination. It was weighted a lot lower than the actual practical, which Iruka knew was hard for the kid. 

But he was eager to prove himself, and worked hard - it would have to be more than enough. 

Right? 

Iruka considered and put his brush to paper. 

_I know you have worked hard - Whatever happens, I promise I am proud of your effort and you should be too. I'll see you in Konoha._

Then he sealed it up into the tiny scroll and sent it off with Ame-chan. 

He was going to set off now - but Naruto would get the message before then anyway. 

*** 

The children - they were children - were streaming out of the Academy, screaming with joy, holding their hitai-ate. 

Iruka could spot a few who looked downcast - those who'd failed. 

He remembered dreading that, once, years ago; so many of these students would go on to become career shinobi, but Iruka had, at the time, just known that he needed to pass in order to qualify for entering his current career. Failing it would have been _crushing_ , even though he knew shinobi could take it again next year, Iruka couldn't help the feeling then that if he'd failed, Satsuki-niisama would have withdrawn his nomination. 

Satsuki-niisama wouldn't have. Iruka knew that now. But it was the prerogative of the young to feel like everything was the end of the world when it didn't work out right away, wasn't it? When the immediacy of failure was right there, in front of them. 

Iruka counted more than forty students leaving - there were undoubtedly some who were held back a year. He barely acknowledged the murmured _Geisha-san_ parents passed him. Was Naruto … not coming out? 

"Uzumaki seemed very down," a teacher said to her colleague, passing through the field. 

"Did he seriously expect to pass? He's barely _literate_ -" 

Iruka took a deep breath. 

Alright, so Naruto hadn't passed - but still. Iruka had promised him dinner didn't he? He'll just comfort him then and remind him it was always possible to take it next year. After all, surely no one really remembered when any of these vaunted jounin graduated the Academy, nor how many times they took the examination right? 

He'll head over to Ichiraku and wait. 

*** 

The day had been hot and humid, and it shaded into a hot and humid evening, and still Naruto didn't show up. 

He was quite down, the teacher had said. 

Iruka resisted the urge to bite his lip, and finally folded up the veil of his hat, tucking it within the straw, and putting down his fan next to it. "If Naruto comes in," he told the proprietor, "Could you tell him I've been waiting for him? Thank you," he said, and ducked back out to go looking. 

It was warmer now, but the sun still set earlier than it would at the height of summer. Iruka brushed stray curls out of his face while looking about Konoha - where could Naruto have gone? 

He checked Naruto's apartment first - but it was empty. 

Konoha was large, but Iruka could ask people - Had they seen Naruto? 

And eventually his search led him to the large forest north of the city centre, close to the hokage monument. Someone had thought they'd seen a blond kid run in there hours ago. 

"Naruto!" 

Iruka hadn't been in this particular forest for a long time - he should have brought a torch, but at least the moon was bright enough. 

"Naruto!" 

"Iruka?" 

Iruka spun around. "Mizuki? Oh Mizuki!" 

"What are you doing here?" Mizuki said, his brow furrowing. 

"You're looking for Naruto too?" Iruka said. "I heard he probably didn't pass - and he didn't show up for dinner at all, do you think he's here?" 

"You're. Looking for Naruto." Mizuki had turned away to look into the forest, so despite the way the moon made his pale hair glow, Iruka wasn't able to quite see his expression. 

"Yes -" 

"Dammit," Mizuki suddenly snarled , and shinobi-quick, he was right up next to Iruka, snatching his hand. "How is it, that you're here for _that brat_?" 

Iruka stared at him, caught by surprise by the sheer venom in his friend's tone. "Mizuki? Mizuki, what's wrong -" 

"I've asked you to come so many times, and you've always turned me down. You stand me up for that brat, you come for his _graduation?_ " 

This close, Mizuki's expression was dark, and suddenly ugly. 

Iruka tried to pull free, but Mizuki's grip tightened on his wrist, hard and tight till Iruka cried out. 

"Mizuki! Let _go_." 

Mizuki stopped moving - it was like trying to pull free from rock. 

"You… you're using your _ice-queen_ voice on me?" Mizuki said, voice suddenly low and - vicious. 

"Unhand me," Iruka said, putting more frost into his tone. 

"I'm your best friend, and you're using _that_ tone on me?" 

Mizuki jerked Iruka forward, and Iruka almost tripped over, free hand catching between them so he wouldn't crash straight into Mizuki's chest. 

"I told you to unhand me," Iruka said, heart in his throat. He'd use his fan but - he'd left his fan at Ichiraku. "Remember your place, Mizuki!" 

"My place?" Mizuki's breath was rough, uneven, and Iruka could suddenly feel Mizuki's anger, radiating like heat against his own face. " _Your_ place you mean, _geisha_." 

He spun, slammed Iruka against a tree. 

The movement almost shocked air from him - but his arm wasn't trapped between them before, and he reached up to snatch a hairpin, yanking the wood one he wore constantly to stab at Mizuki's face. 

The tip gouged a line of red against Mizuki's cheek - he snarled, and backhanded Iruka hard enough his head hit the tree, and he fell over. 

Before Iruka could get up get _away_ , his hands were grabbed, twisted till he cried out, dropped the hairpin into the grass. 

"You _bitch_ ," Mizuk growled. "After so long, after all my support and _friendship_ , this is how you repay me?" 

"What are you talking about?" Iruka tried to pull free, but Mizuki had both his wrists in one hand now, grinding bone together till Iruka was almost afraid something would crack. 

"Dare to try and stab me? You're not shinobi, you little bitch. Spreading for - everyone-" 

And then a hand was going to his hair, yanking,rough, and Iruka couldn't help crying out in distress as Mizuki tore out his hairpins, flinging them into the deep undergrowth. 

His hair fell in a sudden cascade of curls, loosened, and Mizuki twisted a fist into them, yanking his head up in a painful arch. 

"You're _mine_ ," Mizuk growled into his ear. 

*** $$$

It hadn't taken much to immobilize Iruka; Mizuki was stronger, faster - he was _shinobi_ , and anything he had was a weapon. 

That included anything _on_ Iruka - the sash and obi he had been wearing made excellent bindings - silk cord's durability and strength working against Iruka. 

And there were kunai of course - Mizuki had so _many_ of them. When Iruka had struggled, when the knots of his sash had resisted his impatient fingers, Mizuki had torn through the layers, shearing the blue silk like so much water. 

Gagged him with the remanents of his sash, pinned his arms down with the twisted fabric of his sleeves and then stabbed through with kunai, pinning him down and open like a butterfly. 

"Look at that," Mizuki said, bitter and dark. 

Iruka could only look at him, eyes wide with - shock and - 

He glowed where the moonlight touched him, almost haloed, and his smile was - all teeth and hunger. 

Hand up Iruka's leg - shoving the layers of his kimono up and apart and Iruka'd tried to kick. 

That just earned him sharp jabs to his hip, stinging with chakra. 

"Don't make me use senbon, Iruka." 

It froze his legs anyway, dead weight that Mizuki could push apart, exposing him. 

"Good boy." 

Demeaning - Iruka wasn't that much younger than Mizuki, but the condescending praise was like oil on his skin, making his breathing hitch as Mizuki ran the flat of a kunai up against his inner thigh. 

It wasn't necessary. He didn't have to - not with Iruka pinned and helpless, unable to call for help 

(But who would listen? Who would _hear?_ Not this deep in the forest, so far away from the main village centre.) 

Mizuki just pressed the kunai against his thigh. "You're mine," he said, conversationally, and his eyes were wide, dark, possessive. 

His gaze was tangible as the kunai, cold, and how on earth had Iruka not noticed? How Mizuki had been angry for every time Iruka had prioritized Naruto, or his work - 

_But I'm an agent of Konoha, just like you!_ Surely, Mizuki should have understood! 

"Don't I deserve it?" Mizuki said, voice low, now, almost low enough Iruka couldn't hear him over the blood rushing in his ears, over the whole body _shiver_ that was wrecking him. 

His hands - he didn't know any jutsu to _help_ , he couldn't even send a signal for help. 

"Supporting you the entire time - you wanting to go learn to be a _geisha_ instead of a shinobi. Even though everyone thought you were an _idiot_ , for wanting to go learn how to be a whore." 

That's not what we are! Iruka tried to say. Mizuki had put aside the kunai, that was good, that that meant at least he wasn't going to be gutted. At least he might survive this. 

Hands pushing his knees up, framing Mizuki's thighs. 

"It's not very hard is it, learning to be one?" Mizuk said, reaching down and catching Iruka by the hips, thumbs digging in and. 

And it was going to happen. Right now. 

Iruka was no stranger to sex. His intake-group had been very open about it all, because why wouldn't they be? Particularly when they knew that they had to be scrupulously _apart_ from the rest of Konoha's agents, so as to not give them the wrong idea of what their jobs were. 

He knew this was going to hurt; because this was less sex and more about power - and Mizuki's grip on his hips were _bruising_. 

"Told you to be stationed _here_ -" 

And then he was pushing in and Iruka screamed behind the gag. 

Mizuk grunted - shuddering and Iruka could feel himself _shatter_ , the shock of it blinding him to the pain for a split, bright moment, and then it was just, a suffocating agony. 

"Fuck." 

Mizuki pushed, kept pushing in, while Iruka tensed, couldn't help it, couldn't make himself relax and it was everything coiling up tight and _agonised_. 

"Fuck. This is - you're mine -" 

Iruka screwed his eyes shut - the darkness was bright red behind his eyelids, as he tried to breathe, through the hot-cold pain shearing into him. 

"Look at me," Mizuki snarled, and when Iruka couldn't make himself, fingers clawed into his jaw, twisting his face to him until his eyes fluttered open. "Look at me, Iruka! This - this is how it _should_ have been!" 

And then he was yanking the gag out of Iruka's mouth and crushing their lips together. 

Invasive, bruising. Vicious and possessive - as if it wasn't bad enough that Mizuki was invading him - he wanted to devour him - 

Iruka bit him, hard enough to taste blood. 

Mizuki didn't even snarl. 

Just twisted his hand into Iruka's hair, ripping the curls into a mess and hauled his head back, even as he drove his hips harder against Iruka till Iruka screamed, thin and high and shocked. 

"Slut," Mizuki _breathed_ and then he was biting Iruka's throat, feeling him shake apart under him as Mizuki just ground bright pain into him, over. And over. "You'd spread them for - anyone. It's the jounin, isn't it?" 

"No -" Iruka managed to gasp, trying to get his wrists free but, all he could manage was twisting helplessly, just _taking_ it with thin gasping breaths that weren't quite sobs. 

"I won't," Mizuki snarled, dragging teeth down Iruka's throat, marking up his collarbones like a resentful heat, growling his release against Iruka's pulse. 

Then he was pulling back, letting go of Iruka's hair, dropping Iruka's legs down and snatching the kunai. 

"Won't let you _forget_ ," he said, and maybe he was wild with it, mad with it, and then he was digging the point of the kunai down Iruka's thighs. 

Kunai were sharp, the edge and point fine and cleaved skin like it'd cleaved his kimono. The bright pain was almost nothing to the dull throbbing ache in him and the heart-shattering shock of knowing his friend wasn't his _friend_. 

"Mine," Mizuki said, and it- 

"No," Iruka tried, a hoarse whisper. "Stop, Mizuki. _please_." 

"My mark. My name. _mine_ " Mizuki said, and pressed fingers into Iruka and twisting till he keened, before dragging it out - and. 

Running his fingers over the wet trickling smear on his thighs, smearing his thick seed and rubbing it into the deliberate _cuts_. 

"No one will mistake it now," Mizuki said, and his fingers flared with chakra, burning. 

Cauterizing. 

Iruka screamed at that. But he did't even hear himself - because someone was screaming louder. 

"Leave Iru-nii alone!" 

*** $$$

"A chakra disturbance." 

Tenzou lifted his head. He was powerful, yes, but Kakashi had always had a better sense for others' chakra, at a longer distance. Neither of them were sensors, but Kakashi's reach was enough to alert him to- well, disturbances worth investigating.

"Whose?" 

"You tell me, Cat," Kakashi said, starting to head towards the Hokage Monument. "It's in the forest." 

In the forest. 

Didn't take much to sink into the awareness of the trees, follow their wordless whispers. 

And a bright - sharper tone. Younger, even if it was mahogany - mahogany didn't grow in these woods. 

Tenzou was following Kakashi, automatically, and his senses narrowed to that. 

The hairpin he'd made for Iruka-dono. 

_Cracked bark. Lost sap. Crushed branches._

"Iruka-dono," Tenzou breathed, and Kakashi didn't turn, but he sped up. 

"Jinchuuriki?" Kakashi said- so soft Tenzou almost couldn't hear him over the rushing rustle of leaves and - 

Now, they had to run. 

*** 

Tenzou landed in the small clearing, and just managed to stop the kyuubi-vessel from landing another punch on the pale-haired shinobi - almost got hit from behind by ANOTHer - 

Shadow clones? 

"Stop, what is going on?" he said, and at least, the kid (s?) stopped eyes wide and - 

"He hurt Iru-nii!" 

And Tenzou turned - 

Kakashi was crouching down by the puddle of blue and silver silk, and for a long moment, Tenzou didn't know if he was _breathing_. 

Then the smell filtered through his mask. Sharp and pungent, pain and - blood. 

Kakashi must be getting more of it - the brunt of the smell, because he had his dogs, he was a Hatake, his sense of taste and smell were on par with Inuzuka - and he was carefully, slowly, hands moving like Iruka-dono was a predator crouched to spring or - 

About to shatter. 

He plucked out the kunai pinning his arms - down and for a long moment, no one moved, not the kid, not Mizuki, not Tenzou. 

"Iru-nii," Naruto said, turning, and if Tenzou didn't grab his hand, the kid would have rushed to the - prone geisha. "Don't _touch_ him!" 

A flare of sharp-fire-bright chakra and Tenzou almost flinched. 

Kakashi ignored the boy, just reached a hand under Iruka-dono's shoulders and helped him sit up. 

His hair was a mess, loose tumbled curls and his kimono was in disarray, torn. 

No. 

Cut up, pieces falling even as Iruka-dono jerkily tugged the shredded silk over himself, to hide curling up small and hurt and _distressed_ \- 

"I'll take Iruka-dono to the hospital," Hound said, voice flat. "Take care of the criminal, Cat." 

"Yes Taicho." 

*** 

When Tenzou finally located where Kakashi had taken Iruka-dono, he was surprised. 

Not the hospital, which he'd had to ask three separate receptionists to get the picture, but in the ANBU-medical facility instead. 

"Geisha aren't supposed to be housed with the rest of common plebians," Kakashi said, when Tenzou found the right floor, his taicho leaning outside the door. "And he doesn't, have family in Konoha." 

"Good," Tenzou said. Because a shinobi had attacked Iruka-dono. Had - 

Tenzou had found the hairpin he'd made, tip stained with blood, and it hadn't been Iruka-dono's. 

It was in his pocket now, cleaned, but he doubted Iruka-dono would want it again. 

Kakashi wasn't looking at him. "He's too hurt to move to the Geisha facilities outside of Konoha," he said, hands tightening uselessly, like he needed his little orange books. 

Or kunai. 

"Are you going to take first watch, then?" Tenzou said. 

Kakashi tipped his head down. "Hm. You took care of the criminal?" 

"Ibiki-san's got him," Tenzou said. He glanced at the door, the blank, frosted glass in the little window that meant he couldn't see inside, for Iruka-dono's privacy. 

"Wait a bit, before going in, doctor's still with him." Kakashi stuck his fists into his pockets. 

"Ah," Tenzou said, and shifted to lean on the other side of the door. 

On guard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay summary: Mizuki sexually assaults Iruka, because he feels that Iruka owes it to him, having been his friend for so long, and that Iruka's been a cock-tease etc etc many of the usual arguments. He also injures Iruka. Luckily Naruto shows up and distracts him and saves Iruka.
> 
> This is the darkest chapter in the fic so far, it won't get darker than this, and it'd return immediately to uh, almost fluff? Even in the next part so don't worry? 
> 
> I'll post up some omake to Team Kakashi to make up for this terrible chapter I'm so sorry.


	8. Sweet Potato Harvest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka woke up for real the third time. 
> 
> It wasn't particularly an arduous surgery of any sort, but the first two times Iruka thought of hands on him, and mean, vicious snarls and then just plain didn't want to wake up. 
> 
> *** 
> 
> In which we finally get to meet Satsuki-niisama Again, there is hair care, and we learn Cat & Hound's Names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only chapter without a lyric title because I am Subtle.

Iruka woke up for real the third time. 

It wasn't particularly an arduous surgery of any sort, but the first two times Iruka thought of hands on him, and mean, vicious snarls and then just plain didn't want to wake up. 

It had been easier to just keep his eyes closed and drift off again.

But he woke for real to a touch of fingers to his cheek, gently stroking hair away from his face. 

"Awake now, Iruka-kun?" Satsuki-niisama said, and smiled when Iruka opened his eyes. 

"Satsuki-niisama?" Iruka tried to blink the heaviness from his eyes, reaching up to Satsuki-niisama's wrist. "You're… really here?" 

How on earth could Satsuki-niisama be here, he was all the way in the Capital the last he'd heard -

"I came as soon as I heard," Satsuki-niisama said simply. "You shouldn't have to be alone." 

Iruka opened his mouth, vision blurring a little. 

"Would you like a proper bath?" Satsuki-niisama murmured, before Iruka could lose all composure. "It's been several days." 

Iruka nodded dumbly, and if he had to lean a little more on Satsuki-niisama than he should have, Satsuki-niisama didn't say anything. 

*** 

"I don't - you don't have to do it, Satsuki-niisama," Iruka murmured, but his hands were - 

Just moving his hands right now sent aching twinges into his wrists, and they weren't critical, it'd fade, but the thought of having to do more than braid his hair made his fingers twitch and - 

"Who else would?" Satsuki-niisama said, gently, running his fingers through Iruka's hair. 

The few days of being - unconscious as much as possible meant that he'd desperately needed a bath, and now he was going to have to have his hair cleaned, thoroughly. Satsuki-niisama had been very gentle, had said nothing about the forest debris that had been… trapped. 

His hair was on the edge of frizz right now, though, and Iruka was resisting the urge to just shear everything off. 

He'd regret it, he knew he would, because despite everything that had happened, he didn't want to give up any part of him that had already - hurt. He'd never cut his hair since he graduated, other than trimming the ends, and he didn't want to start again. 

But his wrists ached and he didn't, didn't want to start - 

"Let me," Satsuki-niisama said, quiet, gentle, and started carding oil into Iruka's hair, gently detangling. 

As an academy trainee, Iruka'd not even realised that his hair could have been anything beautiful; it was nothing like Satsuki-niisama's, after all, the perfect traditional picture of ideal beauty - straight, jet-black like a pool of ink. But geisha training had taught him that his hair was not frizzy, but curly, instead, and it was far less maintenance than he'd thought - regular, weekly oiling and never brushing it dry meant that his hair, when loose, was a riot of ringlets about the width of two fingers, and if he didn't want to wear his hair in the traditional geisha styles, a simple hairpin or two to keep it out of his face more than sufficed. 

It was just - a temporary setback, right now. The fact that he couldn't touch his hair right now without remembering Mizuki yanking - was just a temporary thing. It'd pass. He _knew_ it'd pass. 

It felt better when it was Satsuki-niisama doing it, even if Iruka was tensing as his mentor's fingers passed close to his tender scalp. 

And Satsuki-niisama started humming - one of the songs he'd learned in the Capital, and he'd sent the sheet music to Iruka a year ago. A piece for the flute and voice and while Iruka didn't particularly like singing compared to other musical forms, it was a soothing piece, despite the lyrics. 

_If this is to end in fire_  
_Then we should all burn together_  
_Watch the flames climb high into the night_  
_Calling out for the rope, sent by and we will_  
_Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side_

Iruka just let the words slip out, soft, to Satsuki-niisama's hum, as his mentor carefully slicked oil through each coil and gently laying them over Iruka's shoulders, thorough and meticulous, before combing it smooth, coaxing each curl into a twist before wrapping Iruka's hair into a long towel to let the warmth aid the oil soaking in. 

"You were busy, Satsuki-niisama," Iruka said, head bowed under the weight of his hair, Satsuki-niisama's fingers on his shoulders. "Your work is important." 

"You're just as important, Iruka-kun," Satsuki-niisama said, and drew Iruka into a hug, tipping him into his arms and letting Iruka relax and breathe. "Know that we would never leave you alone to this. One of us, Iruka-kun - if it should end in fire, we all burn together." 

Iruka didn't have to look up to see Satsuki-niisama's intent warm expression, and he turned a smile hurting and aching, into his mentor's chest. 

*** 

It was two days after Iruka-dono properly woke up before Kakashi let the kid come. 

He looked so much like Minato-sensei, it made his chest hurt, and ache, and the heartbreaking worry and anger in those big blue eyes were … it was a good thing that Kakashi still had a mask to hide what was probably written all over every inch of his face. 

"Can I see Iru-nii _now_?" Naruto demanded and Kakashi unfolded from the shadows of the hospital. 

"He's not here," he told the kid. 

"What," Naruto said, "he can't have left - he said, he promised he'd take me to dinner if I passed - and then I -" 

His face screwed up. "He hates me doesn't he? It's _my_ fault -" 

It was a story that had tumbled out earlier, even with Iruka-dono unconscious. His older brother Satsuki had clearly been incensed, and on behalf of all of the Geisha agents, had demanded the Hokage _do_ something, an actual investigation, safety precautions for their agents - 

Kakashi didn't know all the details, but he knew Naruto blamed himself. 

"It's not your fault," he said. "Iruka-dono is just housed somewhere safer. Come." 

The kid followed him tearfully, trustingly, like the face of ANBU was still worthy of trust when the shinobi of Konoha were not. 

"Be careful," he told Naruto at the door, nodding to Tenzou in the shadows. "Iruka-dono is with his brother and still… hurt." 

Naruto burst in anyway, and Kakashi got to witness Naruto freeze as Iruka's older brother jerk a murderous glare at him. 

"Naruto-kun?" 

"Iru-nii!" 

Then the look was gone like it never was, and Satsuki-dono was helping Iruka up to let him reach for Naruto. 

He'd never seen Iruka-dono with his hair fully down, and the silky curls slipped forward on the pale blue yukata that served as medical scrubs as Iruka-dono hugged the kid. 

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry! If I hadn't gone for the extra exam Mizuki-sensei - that _bastard_!" 

"I'm fine, I'm-" Iruka-dono was smiling, a small thing lighting up the bruised evidence of violence mottled across his face. 

Satsuki-dono was standing, gracefully gliding out of the way so Iruka could hug the child. "Will you introduce us, Iruka-kun?" 

"Oh! Satsuki-niisama, this is Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto this is -" 

Naruto turned and -"Iru-nii's older brother, yeah!" 

Both the geisha blinked, going still. 

"My brother?" Iruka-dono said, looking at Naruto, then at Satsuki-dono. 

"He said so," Naruto said, pointing back at Kakashi, and Iruka-dono was looking up at him, eyes huge and doe-like and. Kakashi tried not to shrug. 

The older geisha was not quite hiding a smile. "I've heard a lot about you in Iruka-kun's letters," He told Naruto, reaching down to ruffle the kid's hair. 

"Satsuki-niisama isn't my brother, he's my mentor," Iruka-dono said, the small smile of amusement matched Satsuki-dono's. His speech was to Naruto but the smile was to Kakashi. 

"Wah, that's so cool!" 

***

"You've been listening and watching Iruka-kun for a while haven't you," Satsuki-dono said, when the kid had fully distracted Iruka-dono, even if it was just for a few moments. "And you were the one who brought him back." 

"Maa," Kakashi said twitching a little. Satsuki-dono was gorgeous, yes, all pale lines and long straight hair. If it weren't for the fact that Clanners _didn't_ become Geisha agents, he might almost mistake Satsuki-dono for Uchiha or maybe even Hyuuga. 

"Thank you, ANBU-san," Satsuki-dono said, reaching out to brush his knuckles, so lightly across the ANBU tattoo on Kakashi's left bicep and he almost managed not to twitch. 

"It was no trouble," Kakashi said, a little strangled. 

Satsuki-dono's smile was sharp, as he turned back to Iruka-dono. 

"I like your taste in sweet potato, Iruka-kun," Satsuki-dono said. 

Kakashi wasn't even sure why Iruka-dono blushed and laughed. 

*** 

Kakashi stood outside the door, not quite able to make himself knock. 

The mask was very heavy. 

"Is now the best time, Taicho?" Cat was hovering beside him.

"While Satsuki-dono is gone, yes," Kakashi said. Satsuki-dono was currently having half the ANBU cafeteria at his feet. Kakashi could see, distantly, why a geisha like him could twist the Firelord Daimyo around his fingers; he looked stunning in red and gold, like a fire-god straight from an Uchiha wet-dream. In comparison, however, Iruka-dono was far more subtle, like the muted autumnal of Konoha's forests, the way the sky got bright blue as the sun rose and bathed the rust of leaves into a rich fire, the kind of calm quiet that Kakashi's dogs could run in, forever. 

And right now, Iruka-dono was alone, Naruto having been persuaded to actually accompany Satsuki-dono to find food. 

He pushed the door open and Iruka looked up at both of them. 

"Hound-san. Cat-san." 

"Iruka-dono," Tenzou said, and stopped when Kakashi held up his hand. 

Kakashi pulled out a slender fan and held it out to Iruka-dono. 

Iruka blinked, surprised, and took it, his eyes widening at the weight of it - surprisingly heavy for its size. 

"It's a tessen," Kakashi said, as Iruka-dono opened it, the slither of silk disguising the slender steel spines of the fan. 

"Oh," Iruka-dono said, holding it spread in his hand, the weight of it pulling at his palm, his wrist dark and exposed with -

Iruka-dono looked up at him. "Thank you. Hound-san" 

Kakashi reached up and pulled off his mask, taking the deepest breath in what felt like ages. 

"Call me Kakashi, Iruka-dono," he said. "As part of the Hokage's new security and safety measures, Tenzou and I will be training you and the other geisha in defense. If you permit it." 

Iruka-dono's eyes widened even more, before his face softened. "Kakashi-san." his gaze flicked to Tenzou, who was also removing his own ANBU mask. "Tenzou-san. I wouldn't ask for anyone else." 

END PART 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Some little comfort! Right? :D? I blatantly stole a few lyrics from _I see fire_ but you have to admit, it's a Very Thematically Ninja song. 
> 
> And thus ends the Part 1 of Geisha AU. 
> 
> I will start posting Part 2 next week while i collapse into a puddle over this goddamn fic.
> 
> the tessen is a [Japanese war fan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_fan), and while it's not exactly as cool Temari's giant folding fan, it's a real thing that samurai used in war. It PROBABLY isn't something you can use to cut throats without basically slicing your own hand off by accident, but it can be used as a make-shift club if necessary, deflect arrows/blades, aid you with swimming - and in movies, probably use it to catch and twist away swords ie: like in Disney's Mulan because all you need is the leverage and surprise. 
> 
> I felt like it was a good statement of what Kakashi was thinking of in terms of what a useful gift to Iruka would be, especially in light of his recent assault.


End file.
